There was that one time in our lives, as children, when we learned the power of the “pinky swear”. This was the seal wax on every, single secret we shared with our cousins at the bbq, our best friends at the movies, our significant other after a disagreement, or quite possibly with our classmate at the onset of a new assignment. The “pinky swear” is the ultimate promise sealant and solidifies that any and all agreed upon terms will not be broken.
As adults, we continue projecting the possibility of the “pinky swear” as we develop trusting, reciprocal, and secure relationships, holding ourselves accountable to what we say we will do and meet the expectation that it is done. But, in the process of ensuring that we keep promises and offer a trusting, impenetrable security to our loved ones, we tend to displace the list of promises we have made to ourselves; and it’s simply because we have not spent enough time meticulously relocating what they are and refining how we are going to actually meet them this time.
The promises we make to ourselves are direct reflections of the mindset from which we perceive our realities and the connections that either hinder us or challenge us to be better to ourselves, which results in us being better for others.
Some of these broken promises are goals that are yet tackled or revisited, visions that are sitting on the shelves of our fears and insecurities, decisions we were assured we would not make again, or the loudness of accomplishing the bare minimum due to the weighted anxiety we create in the possibility of becoming great.
If any of this applies to you, and you are ready to “pinky swear” yourself, here are some considerations:
1. Set extraordinary goals and be intentional about meeting them. Do not build your dreams on quicksand.
- Be mindful of the fruit of those who you seek advice from as it relates to which direction you should travel in meeting your own promises. If their advice does not align to what they are actually producing or performing in their own lives, be ok with not seeking their advice. Pray, meditate, and seek wisdom from those whose prudence permeates their lives.
- Compartmentalize your circles. While everyone is not meant to be your enemy, everyone does not qualify to be your friend, significant other or the like. Consider your wants, needs, and the direction you are headed in; then approve your relationships based on what is healthiest and secure, for you, your future, and the promise that’s aligned to it.
- Learn when to say “no”. You cannot continue sacrificing time to accommodate others at the expense of sacrificing the promises you have made to yourself.
5. Be quieter. You do not have to share every detail of the steps you are taking to check another promise to yourself off the list. Let people see your win publicly because of what you have committed to in quiet.
You deserve just as much attention, care, security, and consideration you offer to others daily. Most of all, you deserve to enhance your integrity and consistency in meeting the promises you’ve committed to yourself. The promises you work to keep, to yourself, will begin to draw in resources and connections that effort to chase you because they will be confident in your self-commitment.