They weren’t telling the entire truth when you were told that self care is mainly about getting rest, finding balance, and preventing yourself from catching a cold.
Go to class. Finish the portfolio. Meet tomorrow’s deadline. Dispute that charge. Apply for the scholarship. Confirm the interview. Call home. Make a doctor’s appointment. Study. Edit the paper. Submit that email. Reply to the invite. Purchase the ticket. Pay that bill. Get a second opinion. Schedule that post. Respond to that invite. Download her new album. Meal prep. Workout. Wash clothes. Go to the market. Get the brakes done.
We are programmed to believe that at the root of self-care is determining how much of ourselves we have yet attended to. But if we ceased doing for a moment, we might find that the truth of self-care is not simply in what of ourselves we need to give attention to, but also who we need to become in order to attend to the best version of ourselves.
The rigor of accomplishing and moving onto the next ‘to-do’ is a daunting mask many of us wear in an effort to present to the world that we are making moves. We want people to think well of us and know that the goals we posted or tweeted are being met. We are also hoping that what we present is exactly who the world perceives us to be. In reality, we are exhausted, distant, complacent, irresponsible, guarded, angry, discontent, dishonest, and stubborn, yielded to doing and unyielded to being. We may find the time to get rest, but we haven’t made time to remove our masks.
The character of who we are is linked to how we address ourselves and the person we need to become in order to be wholistically wealthy. Essentially, self-care involves becoming the best version of ourselves, not solely doing what makes us feel good about ourselves. This means revealing hard truths, making disconnections, restoring bruised authentic friendships, having difficult conversations, being upfront with loved ones about our shortcomings, expressing where support is needed, saying “no”, and unlearning beliefs about ourselves that have held us hostage to unhealthy manners of thinking and managing. It also means making better decisions, becoming free of fear and anxiety, and celebrating progression in all forms.
The truth about self care relies on emptying yourself of anything that hinders you from becoming the better self that you should actually invest in; and if who you currently are is still lacking, even after a great massage, a thorough meal, or 8 hours of sleep, then you have the perfect opportunity to perform some real self-care.
Let’s talk! How are YOU attaining the best you?